


Penis/Vagina

by Agent Purple Pants (fannyvonfabulus)



Series: Is This The Real Life?  Is This Just Fantasy? [5]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, and has no redeeming qualities AT ALL, don't read it, it's stupid, seriously, the Avengers cast are actually 8 year olds, this installment is so juvenile, who just discovered rude words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-16
Updated: 2014-01-16
Packaged: 2018-01-08 22:48:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1138352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fannyvonfabulus/pseuds/Agent%20Purple%20Pants
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vix tells the others about a game they could play to pass the time, Robert decides that they should take to the next level and Joss get a bit cross with them all.</p><p>Vix thinks its a shame none of it made the final edit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Penis/Vagina

**Author's Note:**

> I dreamt this last night and woke up laughing. 
> 
> I'm still laughing now.
> 
> Feel free to add in the comments any other lines from the film that you think would be improved by adding the words penis or vagina.

“Seriously, it’s _hilarious_.  And it’ll make the down time go faster,” Vix is telling Chris and Robert as they approach the third hour of downing tools on set while a camera is fixed.

“And how to we play again?” Robert asks.

“You replace a word in the sentence with either penis or vagina,” Vickey explains as they sit around the back lot.  “Like instead of saying ‘this sandwich is delicious’, you could say ‘this penis is delicious’.”

“Oh, ok, I get it,” Chris grins. 

“It’s stupid,” Robert smirks.  “But I like it.  Summon the others Christopher for I have a cunning plan.....”

****   ****   ****   ****   ****

 

“I am Loki, of Vagina and I am burdened with a glorious penis.”

“CUT!! Tom, what the fuck?!”

 

****   ****   ****   ****   ****

“You think you can hold them off?”

“Captain, it would be my genuine penis.”

“CUT!! Dammit Jeremy!”

“OK, ok, sorry – let’s go again!”

 

****   ****   ****   ****   ****

 

“Is this about the vagina? Which I know nothing about.”

“ The vagina initiative was scrapped, I thought. And I didn't even qual.....”

“CUT!! CUTCUTCUT! I swear to god, if you guys don’t knock it off.....”

“Ok, ok, we’re sorry boss.  We’ll stop now. Again from the top people!”

 

****  ****  ****   ****  ****

“I’m sorry, that was penis.”

“CUT! Mark, I swear to god....”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist!  OK, from the top?”

 

****  ****  ****   ****  ****

 

“Monkeys? I do not understand.”

“I do! I understood that penis!”

“CUT! And where, exactly in the script does it say penis, Chris?”

 

****   ****   ****   ****   ****

 

“Stark! We need a plan of attack!”

“I have a plan: PENIS!”

“CUT! I am so fucking done with you guys right now......”

 

****  ****  ****   ****  ****

“Thor, what’s his play?”

“ He has an army, called the Vagina. They're not of Asgard or any world known. He means to lead them against your people. They will win him the Earth. In return, I suspect, for the Penis.”

“CUT!! CUUUUUUUT! FUCKING CUT!”

 

****  ****  ****   ****  ****

 

“This is just like vagina all over again.”

“You and I remember vagina very differently.”

“CUT!! Fuck my life, seriously....”

 

****  ****  ****   ****  ****

 

“Director Fury, the council has made a decision.”

 “I recognise the council has made a penis, but given that it's a stupid-ass, muthafuckin’ penis, I've elected to ignore it.”

“CUT! CUT!”

 

****  ****  ****   ****  ****

 

 “Is this the first time you’ve lost a vagina?”

“WE ARE NOT VAGINAS! I am not marching to Fury’s penis!”

“CUT! FUCKING CUT! You guys, I swear.....”

 

****  ****  ****   ****  ****

 

“Not a great plan. When they come, and they _will_ , they'll come for you.”

“I have a penis.”

“We have a vagina.”

“CUT!! Actually, that was pretty funny......”

 

****  ****  ****   ****  ****

 

 “We on Vagina pretend that we are more advanced, but we, we come here battling like Penis.

“Like what?”

 **“** The Penis, you know; huge, scaly, big antlers. You don't have those?” 

“Don't think so.” 

“They are repulsive, and they trample everything in their path.” 

“CUT! You know, I may consider leaving that one in.”


End file.
